So Venmo is a digital payment system that's linked to your bank account that people use to pay each other back.
And my friends use it so much it's now a verb.
They say, I'll Venmo you or you Ven me the money.
And I haven't joined because, you know, I just like to have some time for a company to establish itself before I hand over my bank account information.
And, you know, last time I checked weren't we all pretty much okay with PayPal?
Are we all pretty happy with that?
I'm kind of wondering if the moment I join Venmo, everyone is going to move on to something else.
[NOISE] And you know, Venmo basically gives people permission to act like rude loan sharks.
They want their money within one minute of a transaction.
Like, if I bought someone coffee and turned around and said.
Well, you know if we walk to an ATM right now you can pay me back right now.
When I tell someone I don't have Venmo and I'll get them back in cash, they also get really annoyed like it's a major inconvenience for them to have money handed to them.
That's the very definition of a First World problem.
Why are you so upset?
Physical currency is an acceptable form of currency.
Am I paying you back in goats?
Am I paying you back in a gold bullion that you have to break change for?
No.
So take my money and don't you roll your eyes at me, mister
